Let’s play a little midlife game:
Two truths and a lie—Menopause Edition.
Hot flashes come with perks.
Menopause will make you question your entire existence.
Clarity, boundaries, and don’t-give-a-damn energy are the real gifts.
If you guessed #1 is the lie, you’re correct.
Because menopause is WILD.
Also? Proof that God is a man.
Because if He weren’t, hot flashes would come with perks—like melting belly fat, reheating cold coffee, or functioning as a personal space heater for all the cold-blooded folks in your house.
But no. We just randomly combust like Jack-Jack from The Incredibles—minus the superpower. Just sweat and suffering.
When menopause hit, I thought I was losing my entire mind. Turns out—60% of women go through memory and concentration issues during this season.
My thoughts? Casper. My patience? Gone. My body? Rewriting the whole script.
Fat shifted without permission (thanks, estrogen decline). Clothes stopped fitting. And just when I adjusted to that…my hair started thinning.
Nearly 40% of women experience hair loss. And we feel every strand. Black women know: losing our crown is not just a cosmetic issue. That’s soul-deep.
61% of women also report insomnia during menopause. Sleep? Who dat?
Most nights I’m up sweating, then shivering, then staring at the ceiling like it owed me something. I tried everything. And still—it was rough.
But here’s what they don’t tell you:
Once the fog starts to lift, once the people-pleasing peels off…Something sacred shows up.
Clarity.
Boundaries.
Don’t-give-a-damn energy.
I’m not who I used to be. And I’m not going back.
I say no faster. I rest louder. I trust myself more.
This version of me? She’s heat and healing. And she’s not apologizing for either.
I decided to do something with my sleepless nights. Not just survive them—use them.
So I built a space. A community. Where women could come for knowledge, support, and sisterhood.
I call it the Hot Girls Lounge.
We meet every 2nd Saturday.
Come if you’re tired.
Come if you’re curious.
Come if you’re ready to stop shrinking and start exhaling.
It’s my way of rewriting the story around menopause—and the shifting relationship I have with my body.
Not to fix us.
Not to shrink us.
But to hold space for what we already know:
This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a breakthrough.
Reset. Reclaim. Rise.
Just bring your full self. Sweat and all.
Reflection
Midlife will take some things.
Your edges. Your chill. Your patience.
But it will give you something too.
It gives you back to yourself.
Affirmation
I honor the wisdom in my body.
I release what no longer fits—physically and emotionally.
I welcome clarity, softness, and strength in equal measure.
About the Author
Dr. Tanya Crabb is a licensed clinical psychologist, Marine Corps veteran, and the founder of Soul Works: Counseling, Coaching & Consultation by Dr. Brooklyn Chick. She specializes in trauma recovery, identity development, and the quiet work of reconnecting to self and others. With a practice rooted in cultural awareness, mind-body healing, and real-talk strategies, Dr. Crabb helps clients rewrite the narratives shaped by early wounds and systemic messages. She is also the creator of the Grown Woman’s Guide journal series and a fierce advocate for joy, rest, and liberation as essential parts of healing.
